Sam Smyth / Jeff Wells ftw

http://memegenerator.net/Chaos-Reigns

Of course, this isn’t true at all, but it might as well be. Just like only communists make movies in Hollywood and Fireproof is an anomaly and hopefully it will never be imitated ever again. Why do I bring this up? It was brought to my attention that there’s this school with a kickass film program, AZUSA Pacific, which Wikipedia has described as “a private, inter-denominational, evangelical Christian university located near Los Angeles in suburban Azusa, California.” My friend who is indeed a christian / aspiring filmmaker, expressed interest and while she isn’t very enthusiastic about outright faith whoring blah blah blah, “non-Catholics go to Notre Dame and it’s not a big deal, right?” was her reaction. She could tolerate the mandatory three masses a week. But yeah, this school is frickin’ insane.

This is a real, verbatim quote from the institutional policy agreement:
“Unmarried cohabitation with members of the opposite sex, sexual misconduct, and homosexual activities are unacceptable behaviors for all students enrolled at APU.”

And now I say confidently that the people responsible for writing this need to go into a deep state of depression, go off into the woods and do one of two things: impale themselves to a large tree, smash their testicles and force themselves to ejaculate blood, or take a pair of rusty scissors and turn your clitoris into an arts and crafts project. SPOILER ALERT I JUST REVEALED THE GRUESOME NITTY GRITTY OF THE INFAMOUS ANTICHRIST SCENE BUT YOU SHOULDA KNOWN THAT ALREADY THE DVDRIP HAS BEEN ONLINE FOR A MONTH AND A HALF AHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

So yeah, they don’t deserve your money. USC’s is better anyway, more exclusive, but better. Secular schools rock, yo.

It is worth noting before I begin on my post y vent that the most recent polling done by Gallup indicates that only 39% of Americans believe in evolution. This of course means that the majority of Americans do not believe in science while simultaneously believing in omnipotent cloud people. I have very little beef with the latter but the former is inexcusable and makes my blood boil, and will have no hesitation in telling you off about it. Charles Darwin is for absolutely no reason, one of the most hated men in all of history as far as Americans see it, and he might as well just be Hitler McSatanstalin. While every other country with a film market has had distribution locked for the Paul Bettany/Jennifer Connelly film Creation, which details Darwin’s struggle between faith and reason which he chronicles in The Origin of Species. The film itself sounds in no way to actually be controversial, and yet it’s being painted as the “most controversial film at the Toronto Film Festival”, yes, even over Antichrist. And that’s because…people are retarded and deserve to have their faces punched in the face.

The Christian community tries to paint Darwin as a crock theorist who in the end, only created eugenics and is “a racist, a bigot and an 1800s naturalist whose legacy is mass murder”. His “half-baked theory” directly influenced Adolf Hitler and led to “atrocities, crimes against humanity, cloning and genetic engineering.” That’s right, according to movieguide.org, Darwin is Satan. Roll snare drum. Everyone laugh. The film is starting all sorts of debate on Christian websites, and the consensus on all of them is that “EVOLUTION ISN’T SUPPORTED BY ANYTHING SCIENCE IS LYING HEY LOOK SKY ZOMBIE.”

Oscar-winning producer of the film Jeremy Thomas is in disbelief of it. “That’s what we’re up against. In 2009. It’s amazing,” he said.

“The film has no distributor in America. It has got a deal everywhere else in the world but in the US, and it’s because of what the film is about. People have been saying this is the best film they’ve seen all year, yet nobody in the US has picked it up. It is unbelievable to us that this is still a really hot potato in America. There’s still a great belief that He made the world in six days. It’s quite difficult for we in the UK to imagine religion in America. We live in a country which is no longer so religious. But in the US, outside of New York and LA, religion rules.

“Charles Darwin is, I suppose, the hero of the film. But we tried to make the film in a very even-handed way. Darwin wasn’t saying ‘kill all religion’, he never said such a thing, but he is a totem for people.”

The film has received raves at Toronto and is a BBC Films/UK Film Council production. The Hollywood Reporter said: “It would be a great shame if those with religious convictions spurned the film out of hand as they will find it even-handed and wise.”

Source: Telegraph

The not-yet approved Australian poster for Antichrist pretty much sums up the film entirely. It’s brash, it’s gratuitous, it’s unsubtle, and it’s a more competently produced version of the first Saw in the way that it’s got some great ideas there. This poster looks ripped from the Saw annual poster mix, but the inclusion of Dafoe and Gainsbourg’s heads on the handles of the pair of scissors (I have a joke I can make here but I’d be “spoiling” things, so I won’t) show off this idea that as the scissors cut, the two embrace. I still don’t know if this movie is a complete pile of crap or not, and it’s been four months, and the poster captures just about all my feelings.

And I’m pretty sure my image uploader on this site has stopped working. At least temporarily. This post was about 100 words or so longer, but I lost it all because EVERYTHING in my admin panel seems to not be working very well. Dammit, Wordpress.

Like, really broken.