It seems like NOTHING went right with the adaptation of Bret Easton Ellis’ The Informers, a movie based off a book from an author with a great track record in regards to adaptations. Less Than Zero’s failure aside, The Rules of Attraction and American Psycho were both critically gushed over and the latter has been ingrained into the conscious of pop culture both as a novel and as a film, with Christian Bale giving his best performance he’s ever done and some genuinely fantastic sequences. But this…well, I don’t fully agree that it’s “The worst movie ever, ever, ever.” like many do, though I can definitely see where they would get that from, as there is just so much wrong with this movie that it’s hard to know where to begin.

Why did I post the DVD cover as the opening image? Because that’s what inspired me to post this. I watched the film a few nights ago and gave it a 4/10 for effort, but now I’m starting to realize just how little effort there is in this thing. Sure, you have Amber Heard naked and surprisingly great looking and curvy despite what I was previously led to believe. You also have the success of Jordan’s attempt to make things look more and more tacky the more extravagant and expensive they got. The problem there lies with the fact that Ellis is usually a lot more than that, and for the disjointed ensemble and amount of stuff going on, there’s really nothing going on except for the age old mantra that rich people have problems too and it’s tacky and blah blah blah, and the fact is, the 80s were just plain tacky. No wonder it looks tacky. You didn’t have to work very hard, and apparently they didn’t since there’s a shot clear as day of one of the new-age Volkswagon Slugbugs from the late 90s in what’s supposed to be around the late 1980s.

That DVD cover though, wow. Apparently Winona Ryder looks like Mickey Rourke now, and Mickey Rourke looks like Amber Heard. I get that a lot of the time, they don’t line up the actors name to the floating head, but here…really? Did ANYONE think that it would be a good idea to line things up and actually have Winona Ryder in there and to possibly have the names match up? When the heads aren’t floating and are separated by a border, you would think that they would follow the rules they set themselves. With such a botched release plan that caused Senator Distribution to go belly up upon arrival, leaving All The Boys Love Mandy Lane STILL in limbo, and the film having a disastrously low Tomatometer, you would think that Sony would put this one out and make the cover not completely embarrassing? Nope.

I feel like lowering my rating just because of this. Principle. The theatrical poster is amazing too, sure it wouldn’t sell the film as the selling point is the pseudo-D-list actors, but…how do you mess this up when you mess up everything else?