Last night I was having a discussion over what defines the stereotypical archetype of a typical teenage girl. This conversation jumped around every which way reaching from Jonas Brothers to Hamburger Phones, but just like every conversation involving teenage girls in 2009, it all gets back to that goddamn misogynistic sparkly vampire, Edward Cullen. The typical teenage girl is best defined by the presence of a promise ring, an air of superiority (eh, I have that too), faux-emotion, faux-”drama”, and the intense need for emotional abuse. All these contradicted by the fact that 1. they gave someone a handjob at bible camp when they were 12, 2. they cry often about insecurity, 3. they quote Taylor Swift songs on their Facebook’s about how strong they are, 4. they think they’re so much more mature than their friends are, and 5. “BOYS ARE SO STUPIDDDDDDDD EXCEPT FOR THAT ONE CUTE GUY WHO’S A TOTAL DICK WHO INSTILLS THIS BELIEF IN ME HE’S JUST FINEEEEEEE”.
Why am I posting about this? Do I sound bitter? Yeah, I’m sort of bitter. I live on my Facebook and it’s made me see things a bit differently. Just about every teenage girl fits one of these 5 criteria, but I’m not hating on a gender, cause guys have a whole other code of bullshit, but that’s finer territory to tread on and I’d rather not. But the Ashley Card’s of the world and the Names I Cannot Say on the complete other end of the spectrum are blurring into one, and yes, this is me inevitably bitching about it. Hypocritical? Quite possibly. Misanthropy is nothing without some hypocrisy.
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Tags: abstinence, dumb teenagers, Facebook, god hates you, jonas brothers, Juno, teenage girls
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